got the results from the pelvic ultrasound... looks like more test needs to be conducted... haiz, more $ to be spent esp if i opt to go for the MRI scan instead of the CT scan... it cost abt $800-900... geez...
am i worried if the cysts turns out malignant? i was initially when the doc did not divulge too much since the ultrasound is not conclusive... it sucks when u dont have the info and knowledge cause it can make u feel unsettled... i find that most local docs seem to be wary of telling the patient too much... maybe cos they are afraid that the patient may be even more worried? anyway, thank goodness for the internet as i manage to find out more info and although it's a 50-50 chance but i tend to believe that maybe it's most prob benign... if proven otherwise, i guess i have no choice but to summon all the courage i have and face it as i need to fulfil my duty towards my parents and beloved pets esp the doggies... so my aim would be to outlive them before i pass on...
i dont like the thot of my frens feeling sad for me if anything untoward happens, i know it shows that they are concerned but feeling sad seems to say that i havent 'lived' (meaningfully)... to me it doesnt matter when you die young or old but what matters is that u had the chance to experience life, the emotions, the pple u meet... i'm contented at this point so if i really have to leave it would be okay... my life was given to me by God so naturally He has the right to take it back but i do hope it would not be at the expense of my parents and pets...
if u notice, i made no mention of dragon boy... it's not that we dont love each other but somehow i know he eventually will get by after all the sadness and he is more able to take care of himself as compared to my parents and pets... not too say that he wont be caring for them when i'm gone but i dont like to think he has to take over this duty all by himself esp when he has his parents to care for too... i know for sure that i do treasure the relationship we have now so it is without any regrets if i leave cos we have overcame our insecurities and have past the stage of saying hurtful things to each other...
what works in a relationship? having been through it, i guess couples must enjoy spending time together, show concern and understanding and speaking to each other often. Many a times, both parties tend to assume the other to be able to read their mind esp if you have been together for so long... note here the word is 'assume'... assumption can destroy a relationship... to counter it, there always must be frequent explicit verbal communication... trust me:) it can help clear up any misconception esp when spoken in a patient-pleasant-subtle-forthcoming-not in your face-not fault finding-not assuming manner *grins* you catch my drift if u really love a person and would take the time to reflect how u can make your relationship better instead of just brushing the problem aside and ignoring it....
i'm no guru lah, just sharing in hope that such info can help shed light for some of u :)
wilbur supports wiki! don't u?
